Thursday, July 7, 2011

The Founding of Pyramidopolis

The residents of Strangetown should have known that there was something odd about their new neighbors. Their garage was twice the size of the house and devoid of windows, you could hardly walk past it without one of them rushing out to make casual conversation, and most damning of all were the rusted metal triangles that sat in place of their heads, making it impossible to tell if there was anything resembling a human face underneath.

Strangetown, however, had accepted its mad scientists, immigrant aliens and even its killjoy military family, and it did not turn away this newest addition to the ranks. It should have. Had its citizens banded together and driven the Pyramid Heads off before they could get a foothold in the community, they might have averted what came to pass in a matter of weeks.

It started small at first. One Pyramid Head in the workforce, making friends of his coworkers and inviting them home for dinner. Another posting on the local Craigslist, advertising a plasma TV for cheap and requesting only that the buyer come to pick it up at his house.

They had no idea what awaited them. All who showed up were greeted warmly and invited inside, where a pool, hot tub, enormous media center and other delights had been prepared for their entertainment. It was a wondrous place with one tiny catch:

Their demise had been prepared for the entertainment of their hosts. Once they entered the house, they never left again.

Some of the victims--unable to process the idea that such cruelty existed in the world, much less that it could be perpetrated on them--wanted to make amends with their captors.

Some, driven into a rage against the Pyramid Heads, turned on one another and began to fight.

Others went insane.

Many, however, came to be resigned to their fate, and simply collapsed in anticipation of the inevitable.

The Pyramid Heads showed them no quarter and no mercy.

On the other hand, they did have a soft spot for puppies.

Even more disturbing than the constant torture and killing was the fact that, after a while, they started to breed. The sight of their toddler racing about the house once he was old enough to crawl answered the question of what exactly lay behind those pyramids (nothing at all), but it also brought fresh despair to the human prisoners. If they could reproduce, what would stop this madness from carrying over into a new generation of Pyramid Heads?

Just when the townsfolk who had so far evaded capture began to think that the situation couldn't get any worse, barring their own eventual murders, the Pyramid Heads invited their friends to come live in Strangetown with them.

And they had a lot of friends.

Eventually the city was so overrun with Pyramid Heads that Strangetown as we know it collapsed. A new settlement was formed in its place, one with the pointy-headed monsters in all levels of the government. It quickly became a utopia for Pyramid Heads and utter hell to the few humans who still lived there, not to mention the tourists.

The ignorant, oblivious tourists.

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