Sunday, July 10, 2011

Memory Lane

Our Fun Room has had a lot of visitors since it was built, and this means a lot of pictures! Here is a small sampling from our photo album.

This woman was happy to come inside out of the sun. I guess I should have told her that the Fun Room doesn't have a roof!

New arrivals always like to watch the bigscreen television. For their viewing comfort we've provided several chairs.

The spikes are purely decorative, I assure you.

Oh, who am I kidding? Of course they're not decorative! This guest was kind enough to demonstrate how very real they are. Being cut with them prompted her to try and leave, but, well, I'm sure you all know how that works out.

Swimming is always a popular activity in our desert climate. Of course, our pool has a special feature: once you dive in, you'll never have to worry about being hot and dry again!

That can be a little much for some people.

Do you have any idea how long it takes for the average human to succumb to exhaustion and drown? They can live for days. I've timed it.

Eventually, though, they all sink.

Did you happen to notice the pool's center island? On it we placed all sorts of nice things, like pretzels and salad and a plate full of crumbs. It ripened after a few days, but I guess a week or two in the Fun Room will make anything smell delicious.

All that food and no chance of getting it! This woman died clutching her stomach and quite furious with us.

We've had a couple of freak winters since moving to Pyramidopolis, then Strangetown. Here we see snow on the ground! Most of our guests weren't dressed for the cold, having been with us since the weather was warmer. The fellow in the trenchcoat was new--you can tell because he's still feeling good enough to worry about the other visitors over himself! Haha, that didn't last long!

Even while dying slowly, some of our visitors manage to disapprove of one another. Or is she approving? She seems to be doing both at once, which just goes to show you that humans are insane.

Just for kicks, we brought a sword into the Fun Room one day and left it for the visitors. I thought they would start killing one another, as some of them fight constantly, but instead this man grabbed it and stabbed himself. Go figure. I guess death by sword was preferable to starving or baiting the cow plant.

That little girl in the background has been with us forever. She just won't die! I don't know how she keeps herself from starving--maybe she lives off the flies that buzz around. We could stab her, I guess, or snap her neck, but she's become sort of a mascot for us over the past few years. I can't imagine the Fun Room without her at this point, honestly.

Some of our visitors are real empty-headed, even more than an average human!

They just stand around and seethe to themselves over nothing.

Sometimes they do this in groups.

Sometimes they even do it from beyond the grave!

As you can imagine, accidents are common in the Fun Room since there are no toilets anywhere. Sooner or later, you are going to wet yourself or worse. Even though it's an affliction shared by everyone, these two still found the energy and the temerity to make fun of another visitor who'd just made a mess. How rude!

The handy viewing window in our living room has brought us a great deal of joy on quiet nights. Instead of watching the television, we sit down and watch our visitors! We feel so lucky to be responsible for the Pyramidopolis human exterminations. It's almost like a genie has come along and granted us the dearest wish of all Pyramid Heads!

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